There's a difference between people who travel to a country for a limited amount of time and people who actually chose to live in a foreign country. And while I absolutely encourage everyone to pack their bags and travel the world whenever they can fit it into their busy schedules, I salute all of you who board a plane and take the leap without having a return ticket in their pocket.
After moving to San Francisco, heading back home to Germany only to then pack my bags again and move to Ireland, I have come to notice, that there are certain things every expat might come to ask themselves, regardless of where they are from and where they are heading.
Where am I from? You will probably get asked (several times a day) where you are from, regardless of how hard you try to get rid of your accent. And mind you, the answer is not always that easy, as in “Hey Kate, where are you from?” - “Oh, I’m from Germany.” - “Oh really, that’s so cool, I couldn’t place your accent at all. It sounded a bit American.” - “Ah yes, I have lived in California for a while, that’s probably why.” “How awesome. So where in Germany do you live?” - “Oh, I actually live in Ireland now…”
What is worse, the immigration office or the department for vehicles? Feel free to replace these with any old office or department you might have to deal with. Whenever you move abroad, be prepared for a wide range of forms you need to fill out, appointments you have to make and social security numbers you need to apply for. I could not be more grateful for the EU when I moved from Germany to Ireland and discovered that all I had to do was apply for a social security number and that was about it.
What is your name again? This might be more of a Kate problem than a general problem, but I realised that I am quite bad with names when I live abroad (worse than when I live in Germany but let’s face it I always suck with names). James, John, Josh or was it Jeff? No idea. And don’t even get me started on Irish names, those are a next level.
Do I really need to spend $8 on a bar of Milk chocolate or $5 on a Pretzel? The answer is yes, yes you do. All of a sudden you start spending ungodly amounts of money on something from back home. And the weird thing is - I don’t even eat pretzels that often when I am in Germany. Move me abroad though and the most urgent thing I want for breakfast is a good old German pretzel.
Do I really need this? All of a sudden, minimalism rules when it comes to physical possessions - because who knows when you have to ship all those things back to your home country? I usually tend to lose that self-control at some stage, though, and eventually need to figure out how to ship all these books back to Germany.
When do you celebrate Christmas? Or do you celebrate it at all? Holidays might be totally different. Oddly enough nobody cares about the German Reunification Day overseas. Oddly enough, in Germany, you don’t really do either. But living in another country might suddenly give you the urge to rally all your friends to go to a German restaurant for German Reunification Day. Weird.
Do I really care about the crack in my bedroom wall? To some extent or another, moving abroad will influence your standard of living. This will probably depend a lot on where you move to and from which country you originally are. When moving abroad though, most likely you will not end up in your dream home straight away (a downside of moving abroad is that you can most likely not schedule any viewings in person before you are actually there). Moving abroad might not always be as glamorous as you think.
How do I not understand this? Learning a new language doesn’t happen overnight. And even though I had several (and I mean many) years of English classes, I suddenly realized that there are many words I have never heard of, not to mention phrases or colloquial sayings. No amount of economic classes in university taught me the names of vegetables or herbs or what “cold turkey” means. Sadly enough, different regions or countries might have different language specifications even though they do speak the same language. Even though I had already lived in California, I cannot even count the number of times I had no idea what the Irish were talking about (WTF is a ‘gaff’? And why is the ‘craic’ always 90?).
Where is my home? Let’s be honest - you love your new home. But then again, it also annoys you. And of course, you love your old home. But then again, it also annoys you. Welcome to the expat life, where you are blessed and burdened with several homes.
Where to next? Although only a few will chose a truly nomadic life hopping from country to country, I do believe that once you moved abroad, the threshold of doing it again is much lower. You did it once, after all, and you are still alive. Doing it again won’t kill you, will it? Maybe a new country this time?
If you are an expat, are you asking yourself similar questions?
Kate recommends: For this post, I recommend a copy of Malcolm Gladwell’s Talking To Strangers. I am a big fan of Malcolm Gladwell, having read several of his books and regularly listening to his podcast Revisionist History. In Talking to Strangers, Gladwell talks about the assumptions we make when dealing with strangers and how we misread those we don’t know. And as expats, we surely have a lot of experience with that.