Ireland is also called the Emerald Island - with good reason. Ireland is famous for its weather - almost no week goes by without some sort of rain. Even though growing up in Germany I am no stranger to bad weather, I definitely realized I had something to learn when moving to Ireland - about the types of rain, the suitable outfit for each of these (a surprising amount still includes shorts and sneakers) and most of all - the attitude (‘Ah, sure look., we’ll be grand.’). Though I am not a meteorological expert, here are the 10 different types of rain that definitely do exist in Ireland.
Level 1: Smells like rain
Situation: It’s a grand, grey day. It’s not too cold and not too windy. Might rain later. Conditions are normal.
Also: ‘It’s a grand aul day.’
Level 2: Misty
Situation: It is damp and there is a thick mist in the air. Conditions still normal. No rain yet (thank God), but pretty sure it’ll rain later.
Also: ‘ Weird weather, right? It’s really damp out.’
Level 3: Spitting
Situation: It’s definitely rain but it won’t do you much harm. Might clear up in a minute, it’s grand. It surely won’t stop you from heading to the shops, going for a walk, a picnic, a nice swim in the sea or going about any of your business for that matter.
Also: ‘Only spitting.’
Level 4: Drizzle
Situation: Slightly more than a spit but still not really coming down for any standards. Looks deceptively misty but might get you damp quicker than you thought it would.
Also: ‘Is it raining?’ - ‘Don’t know.’ - ‘Sure call in the dog and see if he’s wet.’
Level 5: Summer rain
Situation: It looked like a good ale day all morning when all of a sudden the rain starts coming down. Gets you nicely soaked in five seconds. Even though it makes you think that this was the end of the nice weather for the rest of the week, it clears up surprisingly fast and you’re back to clear sky in no time. Though sometimes comes with hail.
Also: ‘The grass really needed it.’
Level 5: Pouring
Situation: Wet rain is coming down and will soak through your clothes in a couple of minutes. Will also smush your makeup in a quite unattractive way while walking through it for brunch. Will you need an umbrella? Probably not, you’ll only end up carrying it around.
Also: ‘That’s wet rain, that is.’
Level 6: Rotten
Situation: It’s raining, it’s grey, possible wind. Definitely umbrella material. You’ll still leave the house but not without an “Out, it’s rotten out.”
Also: ‘Where’s me brolly?’
Level 7: Pissing
Situation: Heavy rain coming down. Will make you think twice about whether you really need to go into town. Generally happens when you have some outdoor activity planned. Might be pissing the entire day. You’ll ruin your good shoes. Enough of a conversation starter to compare wet patches with your colleagues.
Also: ‘Absolutely pissing.’
Level 8: Bucketing
Situation: Jep, it’s definitely coming down now. Big fat rain that really means it. Usually comes as a surprise element of pissing. You’ll sit in the car debating whether it will calm down or not. It probably won’t. Minor-league umbrellas for >10 bucks will not make it.
Also: ‘That’s pure sh*t.’
Level 9: Lashing
Situation: Like bucketing, but with wind. Serious quantities of rain coming at you from all directions - including from the bottom, the rain will bounce off the ground. Medium-league umbrellas fail.
Also: ‘You’ll get destroyed out there.’
Level 10: Jaysus
Situation: Even the Irish are slightly taken aback. You don’t go outside, you’ll ruin yourself.
Also: ‘Jaysus, the weather.’ - ‘I know, Jaysus.’
What is your experience with (Irish) rain? Anything I am missing?
Kate recommends: A young woman goes missing from her parents’ house in Tipperary. In 1970 in Ireland, this can only mean two things - “Moll Gladney was either pregnant or dead, and it was hard to know which one of those was worse.” Half a decade later, she returns home and has brought some secrets with her. Strange Flowers was written by Donal Ryan, who is at the vanguard of contemporary Irish fiction.